Taking Things in Life Slow
We live in society, where instant gratification is glorified and hard work, long term vision and strategies fall behind. It is natural to us, yes. But let’s look at how taking things slowly can get you further. Much further.
As I am getting older (and I am still young), I always realize new things when I reflect back. I already understood, that some things simply need time. Some knowledge require you to mature to understand them, just like seeds need time to grow. That is why sometimes we are eager to learn or try new things, maybe with new people and can’t make them work. Sometimes everything is perfect, just in the wrong time.
Today as I was practicing swimming I came to exactly this realization and reflection of my life so far.
I am not a good swimmer, but I want to improve to be decent. As many swimmers, I had problems with breathing technique. I went swimming twice a week to practice and I did small improvements every time, but not with breathing. It was too much.
Thanks to my nature, I endured long enough, until two weeks ago. Suddenly I was able to do it properly, just like that. I tried it again, something clicked and I was able to do it properly. It felt like I had been doing small steps for several months and last week I started to run.
Maybe you can relate to me. You read a book, watched a movie, listened to a song, maybe you were learning a new skill. After hundreds of times, something clicked in you and either you learnt something new or you found a new way how to look at thinks.
You see, sometimes all we need is time and everything works out. The mistake we do is when we want something so hard, that we are too intense about it. We are forcing relationship problems to be solved, we think running more miles faster is better, that finishing a book in a day will equal more knowledge than reading it slowly over several days.
Rushing results kills the natural progression of things. If you plant seeds and water them too often, they will die. You need to water them gradually to support their growth.
In the book Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender Mr. Hawkins mentions that by desiring things, we are saying that the thing, the relationship, the person, whatever we want is not ours and thus creating a psychic distance between ourselves and what we want. This distances becomes an obstacle that consumes energy. “The impossible becomes possible as soon as we are totally surrendered. This is because wanting, blocks receiving it, and results in a fear of not getting it.”
To attract what we want, first we need to acknowledge it, picture it lovingly it and let it come to us, because it is already ours. “Why is it ours? In the lower state of consciousness, universe is seen as negative and denying, frustrating and reluctant. It is like a bad ,stingy parent. In higher state of consciousness, our experience of universe changes. It now becomes like a giving , loving, unconditionally approving parent who wants us to have everything we want and it is ours for the asking.”
“As we experience the letting go of desires, we begin to see that what we have chosen will come into our life almost magically”, and that release takes time.
When it comes to relationships, what I noticed is that people who come into a relationship with a lot of desire and passion, burn out fast. It is like starting a fire by pouring oil on the wood. It starts fast, the fire is big but burns everything within minutes. On the other hand, having a small fire gives you opportunity to add wood piece by piece and keep the fire going as long as you want while being in control.
Often, a good indicator of longevity of a relationship is how fast it started. Why is it so? Because people who jump into a relationship often come from a place low self-esteem and desperation. They suppose that a relationship will make them whole. They also see all the good things without acknowledging visible differences and potential problems. Later they discover that the missing part is still missing and they might realize that the missing part is within themselves, but more often they don’t.
Don’t rush things. Keep it simple and take it slow.