I hit farmer’s market every Thursday morning to buy fresh greens and vegetables and some fruits. But unlike many men, I use the time there to talk with people about their life and generally anything. This Thursday I spoke with the man who I buy apples from. (I have a different go-to person to buy different produce from.)
As I was speaking with the guy, we ended up having a friendly conversation that went deeper, beyond “How are you?”. We spoke about how he got to selling veggies and apples at the farmer’s market and he told me that it is a very seasonal job. He mentioned that he needs to find a different job for the off season to sustain himself because people don’t go to buy fresh produce from the farmers because of the weather during the off season but they go to supermarkets instead.
He really opened up to me and I listened closely. At the end of our 10 minutes talk he gave me a muskmelon, thanking me.
This post is specifically beneficial to men who have been trying to improve their dating life without much success.
The main point is that we often focus on things don’t make much difference. We focus on minor changes that we suppose will bring us desired results.
In case of dating, men and women alike like to ask questions how to get a date or how to start a conversation (without being creepy about it). There is nothing wrong with it, however to improve your dating life and relationships, you need to look deep down.
And this is what I am going to explore in this blog post inspired by my experience from my last visit to a farmer’s market – I will focus on one of the things that DO matter. Your social skills.
Can you identify what is the connection between the cantaloupe and your social skills and inevitably your success with women?
If you do, great! If you don’t I will tell you now 😉
Listening is a very important skill to learn. Many people don’t listen to others, they just want to give their message across. But when you listen to people, you allow for the energy to flow, you are not putting barriers between you and the other person by your thoughts or words. That allows you to connect with the other person.
For energy to flow and for you to feel it, there does not need to be a spoken word, just presence.
When you connect with the other person, it is because they feel understood. People feel more understood when they are listened to without interruption.
The magic here was that I was interested in him. I cared about what he was saying and he could sense it.
People ask questions like how are you and they don’t even wait for the answer. It became a way of saying hello. What is worse, we stopped caring about the other people. We are in our heads all the time.
That is why when you can connect with others by being present, listening deeply and allowing the energy to flow, you are giving them a great gift of your presence. More often than not you will also be rewarded for it in a certain way. Things like the one mentioned in the story will become normal to you. Women you speak with will be amazed by your presence because of the gift you are giving and energy you share.
Will everybody respond to that kind of energy? No! Just like you can block the energy by not caring, not listening, not paying attention and being in your head, so can do others. BUT what will happen when you constantly put yourself out there and become interested in people is that you open way for people who want to connect with you. And you might be amazed by how many people like that are out there!
This is what I mean when I say meeting and attracting women effortlessly anywhere you go. I had a conversation with a man, we connected and he appreciated my energy. The same situation directly translates to meeting women. And if you want to be able to meet and attract women you like effortlessly, you need to be able to do it with anybody.
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